Being Human

     This is a collection of poems created to showcase the progression through life and realising who you are. It begins with a poem about terminal illness and hopelessness and ends with a poem about spirit. It shows the lowest point in life, after that they all get slowly happier. From poems about boys to poems about girls. From poems about struggle and love to poems about social issues. A progression as a writer and a progression as a person. This collection of poems is cohesive in the sense that it doesn't have a central topic other than humanity. Struggles and success and sexual orientation and gender and acceptance. This collection showcases being human. Read poems on first page, click older posts, and repeat until you get to the end.

Thoughts Of The Terminally Ill

I'm crying and I'm dying

But you don't think I'm trying

You don't understand

As you're holding my hand

I'm slowly slipping away

Farther and farther each day

I know when I part

I'll have broken your heart

Leaving only mangled pieces

I'm so sorry to say

I just can't live this way

It's getting harder to breathe

Edging closer to my time to leave

I should never have let you love me

Stress

I'm bathing in the darkness

Of my pain and dysphoria

I feel like it's hopeless

I know I'm a goner

As I rip out my hair

Trying to find a way out

A way out of this

This hazy daze

That occupies my days

I feel weary and dreary

Even I've begun to fear me

I don't know what to do

When everything is due

And I haven't even started

I wish you hadn't departed

As the anxiety fills up

Overflowing the cup

Past its maximum capacity

How could I let this get past me

I should have just gone to sleep

Inside the darkness that creeps

Both disturbing and calming my mind

Superheroes

I am a superhero

With the power of love

The power to change

Hearts and minds

On the street where we stand

I can reach for her hand

Crash my lips against hers

Without a single word

And neither can breathe

As we're drowned in a sea

That's made up of applause

And thank god

That the power of love

Is held high above

Any other

Everyone is a superhero

You don't need strength or to fly

When in everyone's eyes

The power to love and be loved

Is one of a kind

I don't need to levitate

Or have super speed

But I have to appreciate

The power of loving freely

The ability to care

Running fingers through hair

Watching her sitting there

And I finally see

How lucky I must be

For her to give this superpower to me

Snow

She's like freshly laid snow

So pure and peaceful

A picture of pristine innocence

A pretty pearly white perfection

Part of me wants to corrupt her beauty

To play in the snow forever

Leaving footprints in her

As I have my fun

Another part of me wants to protect her

To shield her from the feet of children

To keep them from ruining her

And make sure I don't destroy her

She's so fragile and gorgeous

The sleet cutting through her

Like my words on a dark night

After too little sleep and too much to drink

But try as I may, others have found her

They haven't protected her from the rain

They played with her and changed her

Until my love has turned to slush

She finds it hard to be beautiful

When she's the remnants of what was

Once perfect crystalline skin

Is now melted in the park

She goes away awhile

And makes her return as rain

Giving life to new flowers

Now creating beauty

I love the gorgeous rain of spring

And the puddles she leaves behind

But kids keep turning her into mud

And splash her water wide

I'll keep her safe as long as I can

And protect her innocent beauty

Until people decide to play in her

But she's still beautiful to me

Trapped

Trapped in this house

A house that isn't home

Trapped by my family

And feeling alone

Trapped in this body

That doesn't feel like mine

I don't know how I've done it

After all this time

My skin is a prison

And I'm locked inside

Weighed down by dysphoria

That's haunting my mind

No longer pretty porcelain

Nor fragile ceramic doll

I've grown new and tougher skin

That won't shatter if I fall

So let me go into the world

As who I truly am

Maybe someday in the future

We'll be okay again

A Letter To The Boy I Fall For

His nails are like glass

Moving smoothly against skin

Cut me slowly before class

He says he loves me again

Please forgive me

He will caress my fragile bones

though my heart is made of stone

But I can't make it on my own

His arms are now my home

Please forgive me

His body is like a temple

and it shouldn't go to waste

It feels too much to handle

To see the look upon his face

"I'm gay"

Please forgive me

I feel I've done him wrong

It gets darkest before dawn

So I put my facade on

Pretend every girl is gone

Please forgive me

Because my hands are in her hair

And I can't look in your eyes

I only blush when she stares

I hate living these lies

Please forgive me

We're getting married now you see

Think how much happier I'd be

If you had just left me

To fall for the girl down the street

Please forgive me

Yellow Paint

The lack of money causes depression

Though I'll mask it with suppression

I'll try to say this with discretion

But I'm not one for first impressions

I'll Van Gogh till I'm Van Gone

Make it seem like nothing's wrong

Painting sunflowers on and on

So many pictures I haven't drawn

The yellow paint cascades down

On past my lips' eternal frown

My body should be on the ground

A depressed painter lying around

It colors my blood a "happy" color

Though it feels like something other

Happiness will never smother

My lungs and stomach will be covered

Drink yellow paint and then you'll see

The colors spinning in front of me

Sunflowers spill internally

The painting inside will never cease

A depressed painter takes his life

Using his art to end his strife

It's like a yellow colored knife

The happy color isn't right

Happy yellow mixed with red

From the blood now mixed with lead

I think I'm starting to lose my head

My art will be worth more when I'm dead

I Don't Belong Here

I’m too fem

Or I’m too masculine

Never really fitting in here

In this cage of flesh and hope

Filled with dread and despair

I can’t stand having long hair

I don’t belong here

I don’t know what my body should be

This body is not property or my humble abode

This body is a prison I am forced to reside inside

It doesn’t matter how much or how tightly I bind

Every part of my being other than my chest

Is weighed down by my dysphoria

I am slowly suffocating in skin

Behind the bars of my ribcage

The key to euphoria out of my reach

Stretching out trying to achieve my escape

Fingers grasping for air while being deprived of breath

Every attempt at escape seems futile and unsuccessful

No withdrawal from the confines of my skeletal mould

Held down by the weight of my chest and my figure

The knowledge that I can’t be a girl is hidden away

It seems to be evident       on my facial features

I am not who you had        initially believed I was

You’ve never known            who I actually am

But neither have                 I until recently

I do not know                    what I am now

I’m just a person                 like you all are

Trying to find my               way in this world

Would you try                   to forgive me

I am just as                     curious as you

Just use my                    new pronouns

And the name                   I had picked

I’ll try my best                  to find a place

Where I                           truly fit

Love Cushions Abuse

The words on your lips

Your fist in my ribs

Nails dig in my hips

Bruises splatter my limbs

But I still loved you

Your abusive words

Every thought I had heard

Back in I was lured

After being deterred

I still loved you

Your hand in my hair

But it wasn't safe there

Because you didn't care

If you were being unfair

I still loved you

After every fight

While crying at night

It took all my might

To think I'd be alright

I still loved you

Even once you had gone

The fear had lived on

I can't hear our song

Everything felt wrong

I should never have loved you

My Love

We have my favorite conversations

Late at night under constellations

Her face filled with concentration

Her mind set on compensation

Make up for the lack of affection

The nights she only showed rejection

The times she filled me with dejection

But the warmth of her is an infection

But I must be filled with caution

I know I am easily forgotten

My presence fills her with exhaustion

Now she thinks of me every so often

For now I'll lay with optimism

I'm surely trapped by her hypnotism

Not in fear of her criticism

Forgetting my defense mechanism

Under the stars with my love and the universe

She holds me while we peacefully converse

Saying all the things I mentally rehearse

Inside her embrace all my worries disperse

Our consciousness teleported to our own place

Somewhere I can reach out, caress her face

The rest of the world is completely erased

In her arms and heart I'm entirely encased

We talk religion under an open sky

Asking questions, wondering why

So happy here I feel I could fly
In this special moment with you and I